please please don't beat yourself up for any thoughts you have. I had the same thoughts about my grandmother. Even towards the end when she got easier to deal with. Then I just wanted her suffering to end. You are only human and in a no win situation that is highly stressful. I hope your dad's anger diminishes soon. I think all caretakers at one point or another for whatever reason have wished that. It does not make you a bad person. 
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I think I need help 'cause I'm drowning in myself. It's sinking in, I can't pretend that I ain't been through hell. I think I need help---Papa Roach
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