My mania came complete with severe psychosis. I was completely impaired. I understand chaos. It is amazing what our minds do when we aren't at our best.

I've stayed away from all substances since my episode last fall. My doctors are weaning me off my meds at the moment because I've remained stable. I've wondered if I will allow myself a drink or two once I have detoxed from the meds. I don't drink more than a couple at a time and I don't use alcohol to self medicate, but I'm a bit afraid it will trigger something. I'd be lying though if I said I didn't miss a glass of wine on date night though.