I was very anxious and depressed yesterday, and today isn’t looking much better. I’m so anxious about my job. It’s so hard, much harder than I thought it would be. I’m so upset. I don’t know if I’ll ever get into the swing of things. I’m doubting all my abilities. I feel so overwhelmed.

I wish I could make as much money doing something else. Something less stressful. But I can’t. I think I just have to honor my contract, get through the year, and then make decisions then. I might be ok in a few weeks when I get better acquainted with the students and the school.

On top of this I really need to get to my doctor to get a blood test to check my blood sugar. I am thirsty all the time, I’m peeing like crazy, I’m hungry all the time, etc. all symptoms of diabetes. My dad and my uncle had type 1 diabetes but I’m likely to have type 2. It would be very unlikely for me to have type 1 so late in life. And maybe it’s nothing but I feel like I need to be checked. I am about 80lbs overweight so that’s a factor. The only problem is I don’t think my particular primary has evening hours. The office does, but it’s only for sick visits, not a general malaise. So I’m not sure how I’m going to get there. I also don’t have insurance until nov 1 so I have to wait anyway.

I hope everything’s ok. The last thing I need is to add a physical illness. I know many of you here deal with a boatload or physical illnesses on top of MI and it adds a lot of stress. I feel you guys!