Quote:
Originally Posted by Under*Over
Maybe kind of a little though there isnt a direct 1 to 1 link or anything.
Lately my voices, when I have them, are fairly neutral sounding. Maybe its becauss I am medicated and am more mood stable than I am off meds. I do tend to have more scary- disturbing- visual hallucinations when I am depressed and off meds than I do at any other time. I tend to have odder hallucinations when Im off meds and manic. But my voices- I cant really connect them as much to any mood state, though I suppose maybe theres a connection there its just weaker than the visual hallucination connection.
Maybe its because my voices- 80% of the time- seem to be the same thing. Voices talking to each orher, just out of range to make sense of them, in another room. The only thing about that that can be different is the tone of them.
The other chunk, the 20%, might be more worth paying attention to me. I get religious voices in this chunk. When Im manic, its God, when I am depressed, its more “demony”. Those are people worth paying attention to because it can defintely represent my subconscious I would think.
Maybe Im just not good at noticing the patterns in them- mostly the 80%- yet. Its only been a couple of years since they started being a semi regular thing for me. And Ive gone on and off meds too often to really- be in any state to “work on them” because Ive just been too sick- too focused on wishing they would go away. But now- Im healthier- so maybe what you suggest- looking for patterns to work out my issues with- is a good idea.
Thank you for the suggestion and sorry for my longish answer!
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I am guilty of the longish answers. No judgment
Perhaps a pattern will present itself now that you know you can think about it in a different way. I have been oblivious to so many of my mood, emotional and physical state cues my entire life. I am only now starting to pay attention and analyze the details. I'm a strategist and analyst by trade. I am working my way back to good after a really bad episode.
I decided to break down and analyze the systems of mental, emotional and physical health down the way I do any other system while working. I'm trying to review all the pieces and gather the details so that I can put myself back together and build systems that are stronger and more effective in the future. I quit my job, so my brain needed something to geek out on. Avoiding relapse seemed like a challenging and worthwhile problem to solve
So many of you have given me invaluable real world data and experience to lean on. Thanks so much for your contributions. Keep me posted if you ever notice any patterns worth noting.