Sitting outside of work feeling very depressed. Not as bad as yesterday but it’s still hanging on. I think I need to get insurance through the marketplace in case I need to go to evening iop. I’m thinking about it and if this depression continues for more than a couple of weeks I think I will. But I do feel better today so hopefully I will continue to feel a little better each day.

I’m having strong urges to hurt myself though. The only reason I didn’t yesterday is I don’t want RS to worry about me. I took a very hot shower instead. The water at my house gets very hot, it’s nice when it’s cold out or I’m stressed.

I had a lot of violent dreams last night which I do usually get when I’m stressed out. Disturbing but not surprising.

Wish me luck at work today.