Hello simu: Thanks for sharing your concern. I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central. Since you're in school the School & Study Issues forum, here on PC, may be of interest to you. Here's a link:

https://psychcentralforums.com/school-and-study-issues/

You wrote in your post you're not depressed. However everything you wrote sure sounds like depression to me. It's so unfortunate you can't see a therapist. Hopefully being here on PC can be of some comfort & support for you though.

Here are links to 6 articles, from Psych Central's archives, that (hopefully) may be of some help:

Teen Depression Symptoms

8 Tips for Teenage Depression

Techniques for Teens: How to Cope with Your Emotions

Teens: Coping with Being Unwanted, Unloved and Unhappy

https://psychcentral.com/blog/when-y...-what-to-do-2/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/sext-...eling-nothing/

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.