So I think my future has been decided for me. I went on to apply for clinical practice and apparently I need to take the praxis. This is a test for teachers. I did not know this. There is no time for me to take it before the September 30 date of applying for the spring semester. This means I will lose my job at the end of the year regardless. I’m actually relieved. I know I won’t make much money doing anything else but I don’t think I can handle the stress long term. If I can just get through the year, I’ll be fine. Then I can apply to be a para when new jobs come up in April/May. Maybe I was broke as a para but I was healthy. I don’t know how I’ll handle paying for things but I’ll try.

Maybe this job will get better, who knows. Maybe this depression will only last a week or so. I can handle that if it does. But I still wouldn’t be upset if I didn’t keep this job.