I'm really nervous about starting my new job this Wed. I've been unemployed for 15 months due to getting treatment for alcoholism and mental illness. I've got a job with a really small company (biotech startup) and there are only 5 of us in the office. I've met all of the other people who work in the office and they seem all really nice and outgoing and friendly. But in my last job I worked in a huge corporation, and I could basically go in and hide in my office and do my work, I'm an accountant, with minimal social interaction. They're big into team culture at this new company and with it being small I can't hide. It's also an open concept office, so I won't even be able to shut my a door.

I'm also really worried. I've already negotiated taking a 1/2 day off a week and working the hours over the rest of the week so that I can continue in outpatient treatment for my alcoholism, but I haven't told them what it's for other than it's outpatient. Eventually somebody is going to ask - they can't ask during the hiring process because it's illegal, but I know it's going to come up.

I'm also wondering if I'm ready to go back to work. Part of me feels ready, but I'm also really scared.

Part of this is doubting my own abilities too. I'll be the entire accounting department which means I'll have to do everything form payroll (which I know nothing about ) through AP / AR, govt remitances, and financial statement prep. I've been out of hands on financial accounting for years - the last 9 years I was working I was in corporate finance doing management reporting which is completely different. I'm already having stress dreams about messing up debit's and credits. At least I was totally upfront with them about how big a stretch this job is for me, from a technical perspective and they still hired me. I just don't want to totally screw it up and get fired in the first 3 months.

I know some of this is just normal new job jitteriness, but it's definitely making my already high anxiety levels spike.

---splitimage