Sorry this is long. Mania and hypergraphia go hand in hand with me.

On Sunday, H said something to me like he was glad I seemed happy but wasn’t I finding an awful lot of reasons to go shopping? I had been wondering myself a few days ago, but thought, “oh, it’s hypomania, I’ve got awhile.” Called the pdoc once H said something who told me to stop either the Abilify or Wellbutrin, and we’d talk about it at my next appointment October 3.

I stopped the Abilify but am second guessing myself, wondering if I should have stopped the Wellbutrin instead. I didn’t tell either H or the pdoc how bad it really was, I didn’t want to end up in the psych hospital. I was starting to see things that weren’t there and especially hearing things that weren’t as well.

I never had appetite, grouched through having to cook at all (though I did eat when I cooked). I lost weight. I was staying up later, feeling awesome on little sleep. I was very reckless driving and very, very lucky not to have caused an accident.

Other parts were so nice. I was happy, I was thinking more creatively (albeit flying from one thought to the next to the next and none of them related). Colors and sounds and feelings felt so intense...

And now I am having to come down from that. I am still quite hypomanic as I only stopped the Abilify 2 days ago. I was on it around 6 weeks. Would that cause withdrawal? I took it before, and nothing happened when I stopped (but that time it did nothing for me in the first place)..

But I wonder. I have lack of direction, am feeling down. I almost never remember my dreams since being on psych meds, but last night I had a bad dream in which I was told by a doctor I had lung cancer and was going to die very soon.

Nothing to lead up to that dream, no worries, conversations, things I saw or heard. Just out of nowhere. My joints hurt, I ache all over.

It has been a rough day. At least, we think H can work from home tomorrow, should nothing unexpected pop up. The city his university is in got very flooded with Imelda. He has a couple students who are displaced, one who lost everything. It is a smaller university, with a closer department so at least he was able to let his department chair know, and now they are trying to get some help for her. A lot of his students are online, live in Dallas, other areas that did not flood, areas of Houston that made out OK.

Is it even possible to have withdrawal 6 weeks after stopping a med?

God knows what the pdoc will suggest. He is busy moving offices, going into practice for himself once my old pdoc retired, and he is at the new place October 1. I’d rather he not be dealing with moving when getting more meds tinkering .