Where to begin. I have had bipolar my entire life, I first got diagnosed with major depression when I was 14. Several years and horrible mistakes from manic episodes that I didn’t understand later, I got diagnosed with BP 1.
I’ve had manic episodes here and there and things have been rough but last year i was put on lamotrigine and that helped for quite some time.
Now, I’m thinking that maybe I need a med switch up. I’m currently going through probably the worst time I’ve ever experienced in my life.
Last week I was involuntarily committed for the first time ever. I thought I was better and convinced them to release me early and shortly after I was out I realized that I only felt better because of mania.

I don’t know a whole lot about bipolar so I don’t understand what’s happening, but it feels like I’m just constantly cycling between mania and depression? Can that happen?

I’m currently in the waiting period to see a new psychiatrist as I got basically kicked out of my therapists agency because I was deemed too ill and needed a higher care than they were able to give.
I’ve also lost a lot of friends this time because they weren’t okay with how I was acting and that’s really upsetting. Everything keeps piling up and I’m not sure if I’m even fit to be outside of a hospital right now but I can’t afford to stop working. And I’m coming here because from reading other posts, you guys understand. No one else in my life can even grasp it, they keep telling me “stay positive!” When my brain is just constantly spewing negativity no matter how hard I try