Had a really tough day today. Strong urges to self harm, serious depression and anxiety. I was ready to straight up quit but I don’t want to be without a job, it took me months to find a job the last time I had to quit teaching. I signed up for the local DVR. I hope I can talk to someone there soon and find out what I need to do to maybe find another type of job. I don’t know. I keep telling myself to push through because it might be a short episode and then I’ll feel better, so that’s what I’m doing.

I feel so down. I feel bad about that. I feel like I’m bringing everyone down. I just want to disappear. I don’t understand how people feel like this for weeks on end without doing something drastic. I’m ready to do something drastic and it’s only been five days. Maybe I’m just weak.

Ok I will stop complaining now. Today, a student sat with me and read a story out loud with me. She was the only one, but it’s something.