Quote:
Originally Posted by amandalouise
I didn't take your post as needing a diagnosis, I was more in the mind that you were talking about imaginary friends, which is different than having DID/ and alters.
most if not all of my own imaginary friends were gone by the time I was a teen ager and as an adult my treatment providers had to rule out/ not consider my imaginary friends/ characters as being part of my DID due to the diagnostic requirements for having DID.
my alters with DID were not the kind that I could choose to be, or play with them.
it wasn't something I could do out of being bored, lonely or nothing else to do or daydreaming.
for me it was major panic attack due to a major trigger, brains automatic fight or flight response kicked in, have major dissociation symptoms then the alter whos sense of agency was to handle that trigger took control and handled that extremely triggering situation....
heres an example.... my alter rainy,... her sense of agency (relatively new term associated with DID diagnostics, that just means alters have their own jobs, purposes reasons for being dissociatively created, who and what they are, what they can and cant do, what causes them to take control, how much control they have.....lots of good stuff now defines what is and isn't a dissociative type alter)
my point is rainys sense of agency was that when I was extremely abused before age 5 during a thunder storm, my brain did its flight or fight response, dissociated everything about that trauma into my unconsciousness and the result was Rainy. a dissociative alter who's job purpose, reason for being was to handle being abused during a thunder storm and getting home, changing out of wet clothing, getting warn and dry.
all through my whole life time any time there was a storm Rainy would take control, why because storms was the trigger. its what caused my brain to go into flight or fight automatic responses and switch my normal way of being to that of what was stored unconsciously, once switched to the unconscious personality rainy was who my brain routed things to because the trigger matched what and who rainy was, what her sense of agency was.
rainy didn't take control just because I was bored and spaced out and lonely. She didn't take control any time I was being punished and sent to my room.
my point is there was more to being my alters then my willfully imagining characters/imaginary friends. my dissociative alters were what happened to me vs my imaginary friends/ characters were in my control.
my suggestion is maybe contact your treatment providers, they can do the diagnostic testing to see what and who your characters are and whether or not they fit the diagnostics for dissociative alters.
what my treatment providers and I did for that was basic CBT, thought stopping. when ever I noticed I was playing with my characters, or talking to my characters I would remind myself that just because I was bored or lonely does not mean I need to imagine friends or pretend to be someone else. I can find something else to do and call a friend. then I get busy doing external things instead of staying stuck in my daydreams.
what my treatment provider and I did for my dissociative type alters was using breathing and relaxation exercises and then when grounded figure out what the trigger was, this enabled us to find ways to stay grounded instead of triggered, dissociating.
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First I would like to say thank you for your reply! I do appreciate it. But I’d also like to clarify that I know it’s not DID, I can’t remember if I made that clear before. I’m familiar with the disorder and how it works so I knew that wasn’t it. My post got moved to this section.
My concern was that the spacing out was unwilling and not set off by boredom. When I zone out and find myself with these people, (characters or imaginary friends whatever they are) I’m apparently still talking and interacting with people in the real world (except for brief periods where people say I go silent). I just don’t always know what’s going on. Sometimes I do though like I said before.
My work requires a lot of attention and social interaction making it extremely inconvenient to zone out. I’m not bored, I’m not lonely. It’s actually a bit too over stimulating that I can hardly keep a proper conversation with a client, let alone concentrate on an imaginary world. But it’s like suddenly I’ll snap out of it with only memories of my imagined world and not what happened with the real one.
Perhaps the characters are just imaginary friends in my head and I am wrong to correlate them with the other things I can’t explain. I just couldn’t help but try to make a connection because my apparent memory loss seemed to frequently coincide with my made up world.
Again, I’m not really trying to claim I have anything, because I haven’t heard of anything like this. I’m just wondering if anyone else experiences this. Once I remember being very startled when I suddenly snapped out of it and realized I had no memories of the previous couple of days. Nothing. It was like I’d just woke up. But I had memories of these characters.... It actually makes no sense to me whatsoever and I’m actually second guessing posted this reply because it almost sounds made up. If nobody can relate, maybe I’m just dillusional.