Hello!

Just yesterday I started to cry because my ''little character'' was really sad. I try not to zone out in public, my face lives a little with my characters . Sometimes I'm good with this. My main rule still is (tries to be) this idea: ''So I always got exited to go to bed so I could zone out without anybody knowing.'' But sometimes I do it in class, in work...everywhere. Usually when I realise I do faces again in public or something like that, I quit and keep telling myself that if I'm not zoning out today, I get a reward at the evening. So I tell myself if I don't ''play'' out there in the world, I can take time in the evening and make my playing time special. I take about 30minutes and allow myself to frown and cry with the characters. This way I also save my favorite stories from getting boring.

I remember few years back, in school, I did this so often I can't remember really anything when I was 13-14 years old. Sometimes I ''woke up'' in friday and realised I've been in school, maybe even talked to people, but I didn't really remember anything. It was horrible. SO I think this point: ''Sometimes I’ll even go about my day zoned out and I have very little memories of the things I’d said or done. People will tell me things and I don’t believe it because that just doesn’t sound like me at all. It’s not something I would say or do. Not that it was bad. It just was unlike me.'' Is bad and you either need to really work this by yourself or then seek help. Like a therapist or something like that 'cause I think there's a reason for zoning out. I know that I do zoning out more when things are too monotonous, but then there's lot of... triggers I would say, that I'm not aware of yet. Maybe if you would know your triggers, you would know how to deal with them.

I also have thought about DID a little, but I don't know. I'm not really into diagnoses.

I don't know If this was any help or did I answered any questions. I just red this and found it so like me (I'm 21 by the way) and felt like I just quickly wanted to write something (and for the first time without google translate ) Anyway You are great, don't worry. You are not alone. If you have a doubt '' should I see a doctor?'' , go and see one. And if the doctor says something really wise, put it in here so I can read it, haha. Maybe I'm a little confused too....

Lot of hugs and love <3
Bye