Hi all,

I am seriously starting to think I have a problem. I will go straight to whatIi feel is causing me stress and anxiety and it is paranoia. I am 30 years old and for as long as I can remember I haven been paranoid. I live a normal life with my husband and son, studying at university at the moment but this paranoia never lets go of me. It is constantly there and it is causing me so much stress. I am a happy and outgoing person but I always feel as if I shouldnt talk too much to people since I feel they will use it against me or talk about me. I often imagine that someone is watching me (surely it is imagination) like years ago I would think my landlord would look through my window from upstairs (just listen to how I sound!!). I had no reason whatsoever to think so... Right now I am every now and then thinking there are cameras hidden in my bedroom by someone...
As I go to the shop around the corner and the man working there smiles I interpret his smile as if he knows something about me and that everyone has found out something and that they are all talking about me! This really stresses me out. I have in the past felt the same with other people that I dont even know but who has lived in my building.. that they know something about me and talk about me.
I used to be jealous but my husband is very loving so I feel secure with him most of the time eventhough the occasional idea pops up in my mind for no reason.

I keep thinking people will use things against me even ifI have only met them online. I would understand these fears if I was up to something bad but Im not. .

At times I can calm myself down trying to be rational and looking at facts but I actually have come to think that most people think like me in a way and that there is nothing strange about being defensive, extremly sensitive to criticism, thinking I am being watched or talked about, always looking for signs of deception in how some people talk (not all) to me or how they treat me.
Sometimes I feel as if I wish that I want to get really fooled and deceived just to get this over and done with.

I have had people commenting on my paranoia on several occasions but I do think I am keeping under control so people around me dont notice it too much. I am on the other hand not that great at keeping it under control inside of me. Right now im paranoid about something and am scared of going to bed since I know I will wake up in 2-3 hours feeling stressed and panicky and twisting and turning not knowing where to turn.
I really dont know what to do and whether I should bother get help or not. I do believe some kind of therapy could help in the long run, like to learn a strategy of thinking more rational. Does anyone have any advice or have experienced the same thing?

Love
P