You deserve help, @Twitch99. Eeveryone on this Earth does. Please be kind to yourself... and DO seek the help you need because YOU DESERVE IT AND YOU KNOW IT! I am TRULY, DEEPLY SORRY that you're going through ALL OF THIS and that you're hurting and struggling SO BADLY! I, TOO, LIKE THE WISE AND WONDERFUL SKEEZYKS HAS ALREADY WISELY AND WONDERFULLY SAID BETTER THAN I EVER COULD HOPE THAT YOU'LL FEEL BETTER REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY SOON! PLEASE FEEL FREE TO EXPLORE AND TO POST ON THIS WONDERFUL FORUM AS MUCH AS YOU LIKE AND WISH TO! Feel free to PM me ANYTIME when you need advice and support or even simply someone to talk to or vent to! I am SURE plenty of others will also GLADLY, KINDLY, WISELY, BEAUTIFULLY AND WONDERFULLY help you out as well! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Twitch99, and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking! I am TRULY, DEEPLY SORRY that you're going through ALL OF THIS and that you're HURTING AND STRUGGLING SO BADLY! YOU DO NOT DESERVE THAT AT ALL! NOBODY DESERVES THAT AT ALL, CERTAINLY NOT SUCH A KIND AND WONDERFUL PERSON LIKE YOU ARE! KEEP FIGHTING AND KEEP ROCKING! PLEASE NEVER EVERV EVER EVER EVER GIVE UP HOPE! YOU'RE THE BEST AND YOU KNOW IT!