Hello everyone, I'm somewhat new to this forum. I hope you're all doing well today!

I'm not looking to be diagnosed on here, but to know how likely it might be that I have the start of Anorexia? any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

I have an extremely unhealthy obsession with my weight and staying thin. This started back in my late teens (25 now) and it's been on and off since then but has become severe lately, it's gotten to the point where I'm afraid to get undressed and take a shower because of having to see my body it causes me so much anxiety and stress and I'm crying every day because of it. I repeatedly look in the mirror at my stomach, thighs, back and arms, and I grab my skin (which I now have bruises from) and get on the scales every morning and night to check for fat gain.

Every day, I feel and look a little bigger, and it feels as if I can grab more skin than I could the previous day! Everyone else says I'm skinny, but I compare myself to other skinny people and it's just not me, I have chunks of fat in many areas of my body, even though others say I don't. I'll admit, my ribs are visible, but I like that as it's a way I've been able to tell if I've gained weight or not (very unhealthy I know).

I've always been thin and found it difficult to gain weight, but I have a fear that my metabolism has been slowed by an illness that I'm unaware of, so I think that's why I'm so obsessed with making sure I haven't gained weight. I do yoyo diet, I stop eating for a day or two before starting again, and I've noticed that when I do stop eating for a day I'll wake up and see myself as very skinny, even though it's impossible to lose a noticeable amount of weight in that short time!

I start panicking and feeling guilty, and start binge eating but get this, when I do start eating again, I'll wake up the next day and check myself only to see that I've regained all the weight! It's crazy and extremely confusing! A part of me wants to believe that my perception of my body is completely distorted, but then another part actually believes that I'm rapidly gaining weight! I see my stomach sticking further out than usual, my arms look flabbier, thighs are thicker and I can grab more skin than I could before :/

I just don't know what could be going on here, but what I do know is that it's causing me unbearable anxiety and it's only getting worse, as I don't even want to undress to take a bath, and I wear baggy clothes to hide my body so I look ridiculous! I'm so sorry if this post is too long, I don't expect anyone to read it all, just enough of it to be able to tell me if it's likely I have anorexia, so I can go and see a doctor. Thank you!