I am rooting for you as well, @Gasplessy! I AM TRULY, DEEPLY SORRY THAT YOU'RE HURTING AND STRUGGLING SO BADLY AND THAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH ALL OF THIS! PLEASE NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER GIVE UP HOPE NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS! PLEASE NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR SHARING HOW YOU FEEL! IT IS ALWAYS HELPFUL MUCH MORE THAN YOU CAN EVEN IMAGINE! TRUST ME WHEN I SAY THAT! I hope things will improve soon for you! The past can be painful. It is important to try to move on. I am sure you can make it one step at the time. PLEASE DO TREAT YOURSELF WITH AS MUCH KINDNESS AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN! THE KINDNESS THAT YOU NEED AND DESERVE! Feel free to PM me ANYTIME when you need advice and support or even simply someone to talk to or vent to! I am SURE plenty of others will also GLADLY, KINDLY, WISELY, BEAUTIFULLY AND WONDERFULLY help you out as well if you just ask! THAT'S A PROMISE! YOU CAN REST ASSURED OF THAT! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Gasplessy, your family, your friends, your ex-boyfriend and ALL of your Loved Ones! KEEP FIGHTING AND KEEP ROCKING! I AM TRULY, DEEPLY SORRY THAT YOU'RE HURTING AND STRUGGLING SO BADLY AND THAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH ALL OF THIS! KEEP FIGHTING AND KEEP ROCKING!