Teachers at school often commented how I wasn't 'confident' and how 'shy' and 'withdrawn' I was

I remember one comment in particular

'I hope fuzzy bear becomes more confident in the 6th form... and commented on my good exam results

unfortunately passing exams didn't stop the abuse or remove my self doubt and anxiety.

and I still have that anxiety... which is one of the hardest things in the world to stop... how can I stop my anxiety without deleting myself from this world (meds not an option)
(rhetorical question …)

ugh. I had another thought but am 'moving on' from it

(sorry so many posts )