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Originally Posted by DanM
Thank you for the answer and suggestions.
I just hope the psy will be good enough to diagnose her correctly. If he says she does not have anything, she will just think everything she does is normal and that is just because she is unlucky that she did not have a stable relationship till 33 years old...
I don't know if she does not want me to know about it or diagnose her. She seemed very honest in general.
I think she just does not think she has a problem, or that is not very big her problem. She admits that she's not very stable emotionally, but she surely does not even think of having BPD.
For her, a BPD must be like a real mad man from horror movies with very very intense crisis... of course she is not that, but she does have the majority of symptoms (if she is observed long enough) even tho she does not admit them...
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let me ask you this... what do you want out of this relationship? why am I asking that … because relationships are not about whether or not someone is mentally ill and will or wont admit to it. its about feelings of love, common interests, spending time together..
right now you see her one way and she sees herself as being another way.
your options are....
accept that she thinks, says and does things differently than you do and continue to be her friend
of you don't accept that she thinks, says and does things differently than you do and leave the relationship behind.
bottom line is that its her body, her mind and if she doesn't want to admit to you a mental illness she does not have to. you either accept her for how she is or you don't and move that's how relationships work.