Quote:
Originally Posted by ShadowGX
I used to be similar to her, but I honestly had no idea what the results of my behavior were. It took someone I cared about a lot being direct with me, but he had that magical ability to be confrontational while being very kind too and I valued his opinions a lot.
|
Thanks for the insight. I've known people with this magical ability, and it's something I'm trying to develop. They're wonderful friends to have.
Quote:
That said, she could entirely be aware of what she's doing, or she could resist any attempts at being direct with her despite kindness. If she rejects someone being direct about the issues, it will end up a case of her never learning or learning the hard way, whether that means pushing all of her friends away or having someone snap at her in a less than constructive way.
Regardless, you and your other friends do not have to put up with that sort of crap.
|
I'm leaning toward her being somewhat aware, but unwilling to change. On rare occasions, she's drawn attention to her own weird behaviors, but then immediately blamed it on something else, usually someone else. In a conversation on her tendency to grope casual friends while in public, she said, "I never used to be so handsy, but Ex-boyfriend So-and-So changed all that, and now I need to hold people because I need that affection."
I've called her out on a few things, and she'll nod along like she agrees with me, but she'll be right back to the same behavior and same excuses the next day. So I've quit trying.
But I'm still wondering what causes it in the first place. Isn't it far simpler to change the behavior? It must get exhausting trying to think of excuses all the time.