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Originally Posted by poshgirl
The good ones then move to a different job or area, we lose touch and so it goes on.
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I think this is a sign of a normal, healthy friendship that two people can simply move on when they go down different paths. It's the clingy ones you have to watch out for, the ones who insist that you're practically siblings and that you'll never drift apart, because you're a Real Friend(TM). They're the ones who always expect large favors and give little in return.
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One comes to mind. Totally absorbed in herself and her family. When I mentioned how well my niece was doing at school, she interrupted to counter with her girls' good exam results. We got friendly at work, then I noticed how often she was shunned by other colleagues. One even asked me why I was friendly with her. Then the bad language started; very frequent "f" bombs.
When I left she didn't contact me for eight months, then we had a chance meeting in the local shopping centre. I was not welcoming. Did I feel guilty, a bit. Then I thought about how one-sided the friendship had been.
Lesson learned, now hope to be able to pick friends who accept me for who I am not who they think I should be. Don't be afraid to ditch so-called friends. If they are genuine, they will understand you!
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Right. The imbalance is something that's really become apparent now that I can see it directed at someone else. It's also one of those traits that's often brought up as a "red flag."
My friend was pretty sneaky about this, in part maybe because I challenged her on it all the time. Regardless, she started off as seemingly very generous, and she would often state how concerned she was about the feelings of others. It took some time to notice that the behavior didn't really match the claims. However, it was a lot more obvious when I watched her interact with other people (and animals - she's a complete **** to animals). She dominated conversations, so much so that I know comparatively very little about the other people in our group because we're always talking about her problem of the week.
So I would recommend paying close attention to how they talk with other people.
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Originally Posted by Buffy01
Perhaps people in her family treats her this way and she thinks it nornal? Or perhaps she may not know what she is doing is so hurtful! I would gather up your friends and explain what you witness and ask how they feel about the situation before confronting your friend. Perhaps explaining that when she said this we felt this and we would like for this to stop or we can't hang out anymore. I hope this help.
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I've never seen her around her family members, so it's possible. I'm not really planning on doing anything about this. I just want to understand it better.