Dont post often, havent for awhile. Have a wonderful T. After 4 years, i am working on, my choice, what is real or not. This is pertaining to my "hiding places" i have inside so that i dont have to actually remember the bad things that got me here. I think I have realized that i kept the good things from childhood and combined them with "the i wish it was real things" to make up safe places and people to be in and with". For some reason it is extremely important to me to know the "real" from the real? I still have horrable nightmares, lost time, ect. I also find that the places that used to be safe for me arent anymore, because when i start to go to these safe havens, i think of why i made them, and cant go there without those memories intruding.