It's impossible for me to talk about how i'm feeling. Any time I try it feels like I hit a massive brick wall..
maybe the brick wall is 'just' my 'stupidity' and inherent wrongness.... I was wrong since I was born.

There are very few people who respect me in real life.... so I guess 'logic' says I deserve this disrespect...

I'm running low on the only med I can tolerate which is partly why i'm not 'stable' currently....
But contacting a doctor would make me worse at this point so its not an option.

I'm sorry for polluting this forum with my 'whining'.... its currently about the only place I feel remotely safe to express any of the mess and crap that is me