Thank you Christina. I just feel that after four teaching jobs, and having this happen in every single one, this proves that it’s just too stressful for me. I am indeed frantic, as you’ve said. I don’t deal with depression and self harm urges very well. As for the other job, the one I had last year, I only had two short lived episodes of depression while I was there. I used all my sick time but that was partly because I had to have back surgery. That took up half my sick time right there.


My T is right, I’m just not sure I’m cut out for how hard the work is going to be. I’d rather feel like I can breathe and wake up every day. I’m not sure. If I take the lower paying job, I can still pay rent and buy groceries. I just won’t have any money for extras. RS makes enough to afford to take us out to eat once in awhile but I hate not being able to contribute so I don’t like to do that.


Thank you for your perspective. I will certainly keep it in mind. I don’t want to go on disability just yet, I think i can hold down a job, just maybe not this job.


I will try to calm down and look at the big picture.