I currently work in the field myself. Some parts of it bother me, for instance I cannot handle working in nursing homes or hospitals due to how stressful and sad they are. There's multiple reasons a family member may not participate in taking care of their elderly or disabled family members, some selfish, and some totally reasonable. I agree with an above post that it's all about the family dynamic. What matters is that the person gets taken care of in the best way possible, whether that means hiring someone like myself to do it or relying on family. I would hate for either of those options to mean the person doesn't get the care they deserve, so if a person cannot handle the situation for whatever reason then an alternative should be found.
When my parents get to that age I want to be involved as much as I reasonably can. I don't know where I will be in life at that point, so it's hard to say how hands-on I could be or if I need to trust them to the care of a home care aide or assisted living. Based on my experience in the field and being the oldest child, it will likely be my responsibility even if I didn't want it. I'm sure at least one of my brothers will help, but the other probably won't because he's selfish and distant emotionally, probably will be by location too by then. Who knows, maybe he will change, and I sure hope he does. The way he acts now I would not want him involved in the care of our parents, he would do just the bare minimum, if that, and probably complain the entire time about doing it. I even worry he could neglect them entirely, which is not only bad for our parents' health, but also me and the good brother as well since we would be responsible for them being taken care of.
tl;dr? I'd rather proper care given than "force" family to do it if they won't do a good job.
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