Hi all. I don't post much in the depression forum, but sometimes I come here and read. Anyway, I've been dealing with depression practically my whole life. Since I was about 9 or 10. I have depression with psychotic features. I was really suicidal earlier this month, and had to see my pdoc twice in one week. I managed to get weekly therapy appointments for the next six weeks (normally I see my T every two or three weeks) and I am going to have a couple of CBT appointments with my Pastor who is also a T. He has a PhD in Marriage and Family Counseling. My T agreed to me seeing my Pastor because normally you can't see two T's for individual therapy at the same time, from what I've been told. But since they work with different modalities, my T was okay with it. Plus it is only for a couple of sessions.


I've been on tons of anti-depressants, and anti-psychotics. I'm currently on Trintellix, and Rexulti, along with a few other psych meds. I try to exercise, eat right, sleep enough, volunteer etc. I work full time, which is hard. I have to drag myself out of bed every day but I get here to work. I work in accounting and do HR on the side. I have made a couple of mistakes this month because my concentration is shot. But the Pdoc raised the dose on my ADHD medication so I am hoping this helps. I also take supplements SAM-e and L-methylfolate. I don't know if I spelled that right. My Pdoc knows about it because he is the one that suggested I take them.

After a lifetime of depression, I am just wore out. I am running out of coping tools. I come to PC a lot and talk here. I do journaling too and sometimes artwork. I just wondered if there is anything I am missing. Anything you guys can think of that I'm not doing. I want to be better from all this depression and SH and everything but I feel like I'm barely keeping my head above water although I am doing the absolute best that I can. I listen to music. I read scripture. I try to do self-care as best as I can. I just can't think of anything else to try but I thought maybe someone here would have some suggestions. Thanks to anyone who read my post. HUGS to all of you--Kit