Well, hubby and I are home from our vacation. I'm generally glad. However, when I got home and checked our voice messages on our landline vmx, my brother said that my dad is in the hospital yet again for the same thing he's been in the hospital for (4 plus times, or 7 - however you want to count them) this year. The biggest problems for him are that he desperately wants to continue drinking (albeit moderately) for the rest of his life, and obviously he can't. Plus, he refuses to seek intensive help after his hospitalizations (i.e. AA, IOP/PHP, therapy, and psychiatrist). If he gets out with no after care or AA, he's going to end up in the hospital again, and again, or until he dies. It sounds sad to write that, but that's the reality.


I called my brother back as soon as I got the message, and we are frustrated by or even resigned to the whole situation never improving. We can't MAKE him get better. Our WANTING him to get better doesn't encourage him to try.


My brother gave me my dad's room number in the hospital. In response, I asked him "What am I supposed to say to him that I haven't already said." Basically, my dad has cried wolf. I will offer to take him to an IOP near me, but that's about it. As for visiting him frequently, I will do that but not if I find him drinking again. If I do, I will stop visiting. If he ends up in the hospital yet again, I'll again offer to take him to an IOP near me.


Don't think I'm being cruel here. I am not asking my father to do anything I haven't done many times over. I DID go to IOPs/PHPs and AA many many times. I have had a psychiatrist and therapist I've seen regularly since. Effort means something.