Hey, Kathcy. Thanks for reaching out to us. I am very sorry you are in this situation, especially being in Tampa now where you apparently do not have many friends for support. That is awful. I agree with what has been said above. What you are in is a certified mess. In my experience, people who are happy and excited about getting married are not simultaneously having sneaky contact with exes. That, for me, is just an enormous red flag. I don't know if you've been married before, but if you haven't, let me just share my perspective, having been married for 17 years (mostly, unhappily). The process of getting married--the parties, the ceremony, rehearsal dinner, and reception, not to mention, the honeymoon--are often a lot of fun. At least some of it is. There is so much planning, it is easy to get swallowed up by the tasks and forget what you are actually about to do. In the United States, marriage. in many ways and in many instances, is, indeed, virtually forever. Oh, sure, you can always get divorced. But depending on the particulars of your and your fiance's situation, that divorce process may link you together for a very, very long time. In my case, there was a child involved and some assets and so, unfortunately, here I am, 11 years post-divorce, still somewhat tethered by these various agreements to my ex, whom I cannot stand. Not fun.

I am not trying or wanting to rain on your parade, but I do feel a duty, given your situation, to suggest that you give serious thought to what marriage is: a lifetime commitment. If you think, despite what you've learned, that you are ready to go for it, then go for it. I have no doubt that you will know best. But if you are meaningfully worried about what is going on, then perhaps putting it off for awhile is best. Only you will know.