Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv
I’m sorry you’ve been dealing with a child who has always been difficult.
TunedOut gives good advice. Your daughter can be shown the door with her disrespectful attitude.
My niece sounds like your daughter. She is 31 and still lives with my sister. She is finally holding down a job at the smoke shop across from their house.
I thought I had an ideal relationship with my sons, also aged 17 - 24. They were great kids. We never had a single argument until recently. My oldest is getting married and had become a different person. Our heads are spinning in shock. We are not going to his wedding! The whole house of cards tumbled down with the whole family that we thought was so amazing! 
It’s not your fault and this wasn’t our fault. Make choices that are healthy for you. I know how had that can be to do. |
I just saw this reply. Thank you for this. It’s important to me to know that I am not alone. I feel like a failure. I have one child and she more or less hates me. I think she has little genuine love for people though and that’s part of who she is. She only loves you if you are doing exactly what she wants. If you’re not then she cuts you off. It breaks my heart too because my childhood wasn’t ideal so when I had my DD my husband and I tried to give her everything. Not necessarily material things, but just a good life with good experiences. She was always strong willed even from a very young age and of course this got worse the older she got. We spent 2 years at one point going to therapy every week but it didn’t help. Husband and I did a 12 week mental health course which was nice because we got support and sympathy from the other families attending. Like I said before I just can’t believe she had no love or empathy for her own mother. I would understand if I had been mentally, physically or sexually abusive to her but I wasn’t. Of course I raised my voice to her when I was frustrated, but no different to any other parent. The latest incident was that I messaged her a picture of a dirty pot asking her to clean it and she went mad, messaging me calling me all sorts of names and saying how I’m a terrible role model and it was because of me she’s been in an abusive relationship. I had enough and gave her a month to move out. She’s apparently doing so, but she’s going to take her dog who has lived with us for a year and she doesn’t look after it. My husband does. So number 1 we are attached to the dog and 2. I’m worried she will neglect the poor animal since she doesn’t get out of bed to walk it first thing. It also causes friction with my husband. At one point he said to me ‘she’s moving out. You got your wish.’ But wish is that my daughter didn’t hate me and we had a semi-normal relationship. It doesn’t feel nice knowing you have given birth to a child who hates you. It’s really awful.
In reply to you I am sorry about your son and that you have to miss the wedding. I guess all we can hope for is that they realize at some point that we love them and did our best and come round.
Thank you so much for replying. I am feeling so alone do your support helps.