wow. there are too many holes in your story to possibly give any advice. he wants to marry you just to get citizenship? thats not right. and whats this about his dad? sounds like, to me, youve already made your decision.

im deathly afraid of commitment. i feel so much better in my relationship that were just boyfriend and girlfriend. if we got married i would flip out. marriage, i found out the hard way, just isnt for me. he is having a hard time accepting that and feels like he doesnt know "where we stand" but thats his problem, not mine. if he cant handle it and things get worse, i will leave no matter how much i love him. but these are his problems and it sounds like youre taking on your boyfriend's problems. you dont need to do that. take care of yourself first.