Holding you closely.......I'm beyond sorry for what you have been through. I'm furious, that you feel so worthless, weak, and everything you describe your feeling. You've had so, so many bad things happen to you. That's TO you. You didn't seek it out, you never asked, and you sure as hell didn't deserve one bad thing that's happened. You deserve love, goodness.....I wish I really could help, but, please, stay here with us x