I went to the gelato store. All the gelato is made on the premises. The gelato maker was trained by a chef in Italy. They use ingredients imported from that country too. It is the best that I have ever tasted. The rich chocolate! The pistachio! Amazing. So I had my drug for the day. Maybe I will have some more tomorrow.

I am in bad financial shape. I can barely afford my loan payments. So why am I spending money on Gelato? I do not know. Depression has been bad. Spending money like this sometimes helps. My friend may hire me this upcoming week. This waiting has been going on for over a year. It either will or will not happen this week. Otherwise, I will need to find a part time job. No body wants to hire me for some reason. I get myself into allot of debt. I finally figure out a way to make it much more manageable. Now here I am again. I think I now owe more than some houses are worth, The endless circles that I am trapped in. I want off of this ride!

My daughter is now living her own life, only talks to me when she needs something. Ignores my messages. My mothers passing close to two years ago is hitting me again recently. I think I have been wanting to get back with my daughter's mother, which would be a very bad idea, I finally realized back a while ago how emotionally attached I have been to her. Now I have changed all that. As a consequence, this is now the first time I have every felt very lonely. At least now I have a dog to take care of. It looks forward to me coming home, jumping all over me when I get in the door, Despite a big breaking in period for it, like getting it to go outside instead of in my home, this dog is priceless. She is a puppy that keeps me busy managing her, I see strong evidence that she has been abused in the past, I have to be careful how I express myself to her and treat her,

At 1:00 in the morning, I met this lady in front of the gas station store, Circle K. She is Bipolar, and off of her meds, So a productive conversation was not possible in her current state of mind, It is not like I want to date her, but a possible friend who may understand? This is possible, So who knows? I am a bit nervous over this, taking it all much too seriously. I have not been out on a date for about 20 years, So I think I will go really slow, still WAY out of my comfort zone.