I am sorry you are experiencing this pain. It is hard to control your thoughts when you have something physically constantly pulling you backward. The advice I was given while in IOP was to address anything physical first so that you can rule it out as a cause of your mental or emotional distress. I see the wisdom in that. However, I feel the physical body, the mental body and the emotional body work together and cannot be separated. They go hand in hand. If it were me, I would begin the process to address the knee issues as soon as possible. If it means earlier intervention than you had planned, so be it. Your current state is no way to live unless you feel some sort of therapy or just giving it time will heal you. I would also address your emotional state at the same time. This should probably include drawing heavily on your coping skills to use as a distraction. You may also want to remind yourself that emotionally you are stronger than you feel and conditions will improve as your body begins to heal. Keep grounding yourself in the moment and remind yourself that the moment is all you can control. Choices come from the moment and it is there we decide how to feel.

Try not to worry too much about what age you are when you need surgery. Everyone is different and different pieces of us blow out at different times. Like cars, sometimes a part gives you the expected mileage and sometimes unknown factors lead it to fail earlier than expected. In that case there is no value in not fixing the part because it crapped out early. You just have to make the repair so you can drive again and then you know you have a good warranty on that new part for a little while.

I think you'll receive some good advice here from other members. Many are struggling with daily pain and yet find ways to be happy. I know you can too. I hope you feel better soon!