I have considered adoption. I think what scares me most is not knowing. If I will find someone who wants a family. And if he did, can I even have children? I’m terrified that even if I wanted to, I couldn’t. And the only way I’d know is if I tried.

It’s just hard. My coworkers and friends are also all having children and they keep telling me I don’t understand stress until I have kids, I’m so lucky to have free time. They joke about not wanting their kids anymore and how tiring it is. And then they tell me to go home to my cats and enjoy the single life. But I don’t want to. I want that.

Ladies at work getting preferences for having babies and because I’m single and no children, they send me on out of town trips. But I have a ranch. I run it by myself. But because I don’t have a child, that doesn’t matter.

I just want to be able to say these things. To defend myself. But I’m just that sad single lady in her 30’s without a family who’s been divorced and who lives with her animals.