I am TRULY, DEEPLY SORRY for what is going on with you, @jaymoq! Yes, I COMPLETELY understand why you'd feel sad about ALL of this! The WISE and WONDERFUL downandlonely gave you some WISE and WONDERFUL advice about adopting a child from foster care! Yes, it can be scary to try out new things, but if you wish to have children, and you can afford to adopt one, I'd say why not? Please give it a thought. I am sure there are some experts on the subject that you can consult before making ANY decision! I also think it is WONDERFUL that you're taking care of animals, although many people don't recognize or appreciate the effort it takes! I'd say focus on doing your best and perhaps find some hobbies for yourself. Try to meet new people. Just try to do something that you feel like it will make you TRULY happy! Also please try to avoid comparing your Life with other people's Lives. I understand it is hard and that it is not your fault... but try to resist that impulse! I hope your Life will improve soon, @jaymoq. It is hard to take control of your own Lives when we've been through SO MUCH already! Feel free to PM me ANYTIME when you need someone to talk to or vent to or evens ome advice and support! I am SURE plenty of others will also KINDLY, GLADLY, BEAUTIFULLY, GENEROUSLY, CARINGLY, SWEETLY, WISELY, DEEPLY AND WONDERFULLY help you out as well! THAT'S A PROMISE! YOU CAN REST ASSURED OF THAT! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @jaymoq, your family, your friends, your sisters and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking! I am TRULY, DEEPLY SORRY that you're GOING THROUGH ALL OF THIS ALL AND ENTIRELY BY YOURSELF AND ALL AND ENTIRELY ON YOUR OWN and that you're HURTING AND STRUGGLING SO BADLY! I TRULY, REALLY AM! PLEASE NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER GIVE UP HOPE NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS! KEEP FIGHTING AND KEEP ROCKING, @jaymoq!