The WISE and WONDERFUL Skeezyks has already gave you some WISE and WONDERFUL advice! I am not sure what it may be myself, so my advice would be to talk to a WISE AND WONDERFUL Doctor or Therapist about ALL of this and see how it goes from there! I COMPLETELY agree with the WISE AND WONDERFUL Skeezyks that it may be related to Envy or Jelousy. Perhaps give that a thought and see if there may be some truth to that! Do you think you may have wanted to reach those accomplishments yourself? Either way, we're here for you! THAT'S A PROMISE! YOU CAN COUNT ON THAT! Feel free to PM me ANYTIME when you need someone to talk to or vent to or even simply some advice and support! I am SURE plenty of others will also GLADLY, BEAUTIFULLY, DEEPLY, CARINGLY, SWEETLY, DEARLY, WISELY AND WONDERFULLY help you out as well! THAT'S A PROMISE! YOU CAN REST ASSURED OF THAT! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @bonildo, your family, your friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! KEEP FIGHTING AND KEEP ROCKING NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS!