First off, your daughter's reaction to the pot thing was unacceptable and totally inappropriate. Sounds more like the tantrum of a 3 year-old being told to clean up her toys than any 20 year-old. Second, in my experience, families are just weird. There's really no predicting them. When I had my massive psychotic episode in 2007 and everything came down, my only brother basically excommunicated me from the family. No calls, no even once-a-year- bday texts. Just--gone. Totally on my own. Why did he do this? Because he was angry about what had happened (I had a car crash while psychotic and someone was injured). He was mostly worried about our family name, whatever the hell that is. He is extremely well-educated, a successful attorney, and well-regarded. When one of his twin sons developed major depression and had to withdraw from college, I thought my brother might have some sort of insight breakthrough and maybe reach out. Nope. Nothing. I have no brother. I have no family, other than my wonderful father, who chalks this all up to 'sibling rivalry,' as he puts it.

So, families are weird. Your daughter's behavior, as bizarre and immature and inappropriate as it was, is what it is. Maybe she does have some sort of formal mental health issue going on. But she's an adult, theoretically, and she is going to do what she is going to do. Maybe she'll grow out of this. Maybe she's stressed because of this boyfriend thing, which isn't your fault. Whatever the case, you should not have to put up with this nonsense. If she asks for help with some of these things, that's one thing. But if she is just going to be abusive, then I firmly agree with you that setting boundaries is the thing to do. And I would definitely talk to her about the dog. Sending positive vibes your way!