Sitting close on the couch and regular sex has always been an important part of my relationship. When I need it, I am grateful he is willing. When he is in the mood but I am not--I approach the task with a grateful heart. I want to make him happy because all that he has done to make me happy. Plus, I still get in the mood enough to know how nice it is to have it when you got to have it. I feel so lucky that my partner never neglects this part of our relationship. I love when he talks about it and feel like I should be more consistent about talking about it though when I do--it just makes us laugh because it when I say it, it just sounds comedic because I don't have the acting skills my partner has (or perhaps he is just a natural flirt). So I think that my partner is more confident than I am, makes it all easier for him sometimes but that I am willing to try counts for a lot with him!!!

Has there ever been a time in your life when you felt really turned on? Sometimes, I can take myself back to some of the times in my life that sex was the most intense and my body follows. If you have had times like this in your life, perhaps you could try to really remember how you felt and use it to improve the experience. Have you ever had really great sex? The kind that stays with you for days? If you have never had this then maybe there are books or a therapist out there that could help you cultivate it?

Also, sometimes good foreplay isn't about just sex. It is about telling your partner how good they look and make you feel. It can be about doing something for them and overlooking small things that aren't perfect. It's about feeling good enough about ourselves to make ourselves look better and try to say things that will make them feel as good as they make us feel. If they boost your self esteem--think of ways to pay that back! Everyone loves a genuine complement. Complements put people in a good mood. What we send out in the world comes back to us, so above all, try to put yourself in a good mood and be happy that you have people in your life that lift you up. Not everyone has that. We are lucky.