Has he ever been formally evaluated by an expert for a possible addiction issue? That might be a place to start. If he is an addict and he is currently using, he will need some form of treatment. Speaking as someone everyone gave up on due to my addiction, I can tell you that treatment and a good program does work. I just celebrated 11 years. It can be done, if he wants that. But as you know from your brother, you cannot do it for him. He has to do it. And if he doesn't want that right now, I can assure you , he won't.

Addicts quit when they're done. There is no other way to put it. If he isn't done and you don't want to go through all that with him, and who would, then you will in all likelihood leave. And if you stay, no matter how much you want to support and help, you can't do his recovery for him. That's not how it works. He has to want it. He has to do it.

Now, if he is trying to pass this off as some kind of extremely rare, once-in-a-lifetime thing, then I guess you have to decide how you feel about that. Cocaine is dangerous. It has serious cardiac toxicity and people die. Given this, what he did was reckless. Then, there are the potential legal consequences. Especially if, as he said, he was essentially dealing. Penalties can be super-stiff. How do those things help the marriage he is in? How is that thinking about you?

You are in a very tough situation, @TheOutsider90. I am so very sorry. The good news is that people recover from addiction all the time and go on to have awesome lives. The bad news is that you have both your brother and your husband--or so it sounds--wrestling monsters at the same time. That's a lot to deal with and I am sorry. Ultimately, you have to take care of yourself, because if you don't, you will be of no use to anyone--including you. Given all that, I say be as supportive as you choose to be to your husband, but do what you have to do for you as the priority. I will be sending prayers your way Be well!.