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Oct 01, 2019, 07:11 AM
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Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,008
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Hi @SarahSweden- I think I need more clarification on what a relationally therapist is.
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Originally Posted by SarahSweden
Iīve met with a new T two times now and there were several things I wanted to bring up so I asked her if I could give her a text I had written. She accepted that, I had written about what I need in a therapist and some things that upset me during our last meeting.
She read it, she more or less choose some of it and read it out loud but she barely commented on anything. She told me she doesnīt do chit-chat in connection to my opinion about how she ended our last session. But she didnīt tell me how she thought we could work on this, she didnīt validate any of my feelings and she didnīt seem to think of this as therapeutical material.
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She should have validated your feelings and given some sort of feedback. But I wonder if she felt like you were telling her how to do her job? Maybe she didnt think it was something to be worked on. It sounds like you listed what you need, your feelings about what happened and maybe she accepted that and wanted to start the session another way?
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We then continued with her questions as we do evaluation sessions. She asked me several questions and when I talked she just said "mm" to almost everything. When I paused, she asked another question. She didnīt comment on anything I said, she hasnīt presented herself, I donīt see anything that could be relationally oriented.
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Do you mean you two are not a good fit?
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At the end she wanted to give the document back to me and I was both surprised and a bit offended that she didnīt want to keep it and read it again and use it for our therapy. She did read it but such a document should be interesting to her, to look at some more and perhaps reflect upon. I had put energy into that text and showed I wanted to try to get her to understand.
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This is where I disagree. You are not the therapist and you are assuming and projecting how she should feel, what she should do and how she should it. What makes you think she should find it interesting or that she should reflect on it more, maybe she wanted you to reflect on it more?
I do not know you that well but I often see threads of yours centered on your therapists. have you had alot of them or is it just the same one you have issues with?
__________________
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President of the no F's given society.
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