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Old Feb 07, 2005, 09:58 PM
Tormented_Lilah Tormented_Lilah is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2005
Location: California
Posts: 117
<font color="purple">Copying and pasting a journal of mine I just wrote from deviant art. Posting here because what started it was my father abusing me.

Well I thought I'd write a journal because I don't know when I will get to again. My father hurt me on Friday night so I ran over to Amberly's. From there, I spoke with a cop who gave me a sandwinch, and another cop came...they took me to the NAC center or neighborhood alternative center. Saturday morning I talked to people and they transfered me in handcuffs to sacramento mental health facility. I stayed there until sunday morning. My mother called, and Amberly told me she no longer wanted to speak to me, or hear from me, ever again. From that facility they took me all the way to Fremont psychiatric hospital where I stayed until around 2 pm this afternoon. Meant some interesting people there....a gay guy, a girl that cuts up her arm all to hell...excedra. It isn't really all that bad...you get used to it after awhile. They over feed you too. My heart currently hurts, but I'll be okay... I told he people about the others and about my mental condition, so I'm gunna get help now. Father came and picked me up. As far as I know CPS is currently involved in my case....yeah. I'm going to go back to school tommorrow aswell. My father keeps tellin me that it's all my fault and that he never hurt me and he won't currently give me the computer back, but I don't really mind. Also I know the truth about what really happened , so it doesn't really matter what he says and thinks. I also know the truth about my mother, and despite what he says about her...I know she isn't really all that bad. I love her. Though myself and my system is severely hurt and broken right now, we will be okay...we know that. I'm just glad to be home...considering, they wanted to send me to juvi.

A note to dagger :
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I'd like to see you once more, to at least say goodbye. If you are serious about wanting to break away from me, then I understand. Dealing with me has been breaking you, and I see that...so I guess it is the best that we part. That way, you don't break anymore. I thankyou and your mother for all your help..Also Dagger, I know you still love me. You most likely, always will. I do hope that if you are gunna stop talking to us, that you at least let me see you once more during school...so we can say goodbye. I'm going to close this entry now, Dagger...and everybody...Please be okay and stay happy. I dunno if I'll be around much anymore, or what's gunna happen...but things with and for me will in the end be okay. So I hope things with you will aswell, all be okay.

Love you Dagger, always...

Love everyone else aswell.

~ Amber


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All will be okay
In the end, like today
Even if the present moment
Seems like an endless decay
All will be just fine
And you will be able to fly
Just gotta know
That there's always another
Side
All will be okay
In the end, never ending...
Like the rainbow in the cloudy
Sky
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