BipolarWolf, thank you for sharing these articles. It was great to compare the topic in the first to the one in the second.

A couple in the potentially hurtful comments aren't always hurtful for me, depending on who says them. That's often key. The delivery, as well. A couple of comments that stay in my mind as intended helpful, but feel hurtful are:

"Keep your chin up" - I can't even tell you how many times my father has said this to me. I just hate it! I always see it as a suggestion to "stuff" my pain, which I know is not good. I also see it as him telling me that he doesn't want to deal with my pain as a supporter. I love my father very much, but he has rarely been a good emotional support to me.

"You're strong, you'll get past this" - I actually think this is almost always true, but again, it can come across as dismissive of pain. I can't speak for others here, but I don't want my pain dismissed. I don't want people to feel sorry for me, but sometimes it's nice when people rather say "I know you're hurting. I'm sorry. But you're strong even dealing with what you're dealing with."

I have to leave for my therapy right now, but I'd like to think about a response to the second article and add something after I return.