Thanks. Iīve met with like four different therapists during several years and some counsellors. In Sweden, counsellors arenīt always psychotherapists but they have less qualifications.
Two of them were warm and kind and I almost immediately felt when I met with them that I liked them. One wasnīt a good match at all but I kept seeing her as she was the only one available. The forth I met with just three times as she couldnīt really offer therapy but more of brief counselling and also we didnīt match.
I think validation is the key and to not construct situations that are very different from common human interaction. To say "mm" to most things is not a dialogue and by that she do show she listens but thatīs not enough. I perhaps donīt feel judged by her but more of that she thinks there should be a lot of free association and that I shouldnīt look for validation from her but more of like keep talking. And to me thatīs more of a psychoanalytical way of doing therapy and Iīve been very clear about what I look for in a therapist.
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Originally Posted by maybeblue
How many different therapists have you seen in your life? I ask because I wonder if you have had a therapist that really did feel like a good match for you. If so, when you look back at the first couple of sessions with that therapist, how does it compare to this one? It sounds like you are good at describing what you need...essentially validation. Honestly, I think that is one of the most basic skills that a therapist should have and it always surprises me when they don't, because it's just not that hard. Without it, it's very easy for the client to feel judged. The therapist may just be thinking when she says mm...but we can't read their minds, and clients who are very sensitive often feel judged, which they should know.
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