Well there goes another one of my friends announcing their engagement on SM. This time it’s one of my best friends I’ve known since first grade. We talk quite a bit through the year despite my transition from school to the real world, and his new consultant job and frequent travels. Through the years he has been a “thick and thin” friend, especially when I’ve been troubled by the topics I’m about to discuss. Even when we don’t see each other he has expressed his care for me as evident when I saw his father at Starbucks, who I am equally close to, and he said my friend was frequently asking about me. Since I found a new passion in diving, he discovered this on Insta and this is something that brought us even closer together in recent times.

But like all my other friends who have popped with the question, I fear this BFF will go the same path many who dropped off my radar as soon as they get married. One of the most sobering examples came with a person who initially helped me move past a suicidal moment stopped talking to me after he proposed and he began to ignore my efforts to reconnect with him. A former crush who I was previously on good terms with even after she got serious with someone also became standoffish when I tried to text her even when I tried to text her happy birthday. She along with the rest of my female friends that I was previously close to in college treat me the same, act friendly on the surface and then when something better comes along, I get tossed out like a burnt out cigarette. Furthermore the people I gave wedding gifts or congratulated to didn’t even say “thank you”, all proof that marriage, especially in this day and age use this as a ticket to over-the-top arrogance and annoying entitlement. Thankfully I’ve been able to take the edge off of these emotions by coming home after uni and moving away from my cliquey college town.

Now I’ve been able to reconnect with friends who are single and don’t prioritize dating and marriage like people in my conservative, pressure cooking college town. But seeing the aforementioned news on FB sent me into an internal anxiety meltdown because of the pressure to date after still recovering over old flames, and me being overall unlovable by the opposite gender. I also wanted to be a part of the relationship bandwagon myself but my stressful transitions, the disturbing trends I’ve witnessed and bad luck with women has burned me out. However when I’m not on FB or Insta being single has been a wonderful choice for me so far, as this has allowed me to focus on my engaging and up and coming job.

Do I have to say goodbye forever to any friend who gets married? Are my friends going to push me away and isolate me simply because of relationship status?