My Support Forums - View Single Post - Are Friendships Dependent on Relationship Status?

sarahsweets · Oct 01, 2019, 06:21 PM

Hey @DazedandConfused25 I am sorry you feel mistreated.

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Originally Posted by DazedandConfused254

But like all my other friends who have popped with the question, I fear this BFF will go the same path many who dropped off my radar as soon as they get married.

When you get married you sort of become a team and that person is the priority. Now I am not saying married people cant have friends but I am saying that the spouse is always the priority.

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One of the most sobering examples came with a person who initially helped me move past a suicidal moment stopped talking to me after he proposed and he began to ignore my efforts to reconnect with him.

Is it possible that he was able to feel a certain kind of responsibility and loyalty with you and now chooses to put that energy into his partner? It makes sense.

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A former crush who I was previously on good terms with even after she got serious with someone also became standoffish when I tried to text her even when I tried to text her happy birthday.

This I totally understand. I know my husband wouldnt want me to receive texts from my ex, for any reason no matter how harmless.

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She along with the rest of my female friends that I was previously close to in college treat me the same, act friendly on the surface and then when something better comes along, I get tossed out like a burnt out cigarette.

Wait, do you mean all of these women got married and cut ties or are you lumping the women into a general category of people that ghosted you?

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Furthermore the people I gave wedding gifts or congratulated to didn’t even say “thank you”, all proof that marriage, especially in this day and age use this as a ticket to over-the-top arrogance and annoying entitlement.

I disagree strongly. These people are rude, thankless, vapid and entitled because they were assholes. Maybe they were always assholes but it didnt affect you directly but now that it does you cant blame it on marriage. One is not entitled just because they are married or devoted to their spouse. An entitled person was always entitled, it just didnt affect you at the time.

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Thankfully I’ve been able to take the edge off of these emotions by coming home after uni and moving away from my cliquey college town.

Good for you. Cliques suck.

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Now I’ve been able to reconnect with friends who are single and don’t prioritize dating and marriage like people in my conservative, pressure cooking college town.

What is wrong with prioritizing marriage?

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But seeing the aforementioned news on FB sent me into an internal anxiety meltdown because of the pressure to date after still recovering over old flames, and me being overall unlovable by the opposite gender. I also wanted to be a part of the relationship bandwagon myself but my stressful transitions, the disturbing trends I’ve witnessed and bad luck with women has burned me out. However when I’m not on FB or Insta being single has been a wonderful choice for me so far, as this has allowed me to focus on my engaging and up and coming job.

This is where I tell you to say goodbye to social media. If it makes you feel bad for any reason, especially a sensitive one like this, it has no place in your life. How happy does checking facebook and feeling pressure and anxiety make you?

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[B]Do I have to say goodbye forever to any friend who gets married? Are my friends going to push me away and isolate me simply because of relationship status?

Not always but likely. Couples like to hang with other couples a lot.
No matter what it hasnt been easy for you and its good that you are ok with the single life and that youre happy with it unless social media mucks it up.