Hi there,

I haven’t posted for quite awhile on PC because Ive been so very physically ill. Far more than my other chronic pain issues unfortunately. However the last 5 months have triggered my bipolar, ptsd & being prone to major depression very badly. However now that I realise that my actual mortality is possibly at risk? Depending on my biopsy after surgery makes me realise just how much that I really want to live despite the physical issues that I have. I will explain what’s happening below.

I’ve had constant pain on the LH side of my abdomen for about 5 months now & it’s become so so severe. As well as almost constant nausea, bloating and vomitting. I can hardly eat anything much at all now either no matter how healthy or small my meal is. I’m only able to eat around half a small bowl of stir fried vegetables because my stomach mostly tolerates healthy food far better mostly. Ive lost a lot of weight so quickly and have gone down 4 womens clothing sizes in less than 5 months.

After telling my GP over and over about all my unbearable symptoms that are literally keeping me awake at night, she finally sent me off to have a CT scan on my lungs and entire abdomen around a fortnight ago. What they found is a large mass over my left ovary bigger than the ovary itself. Measuring 8cm x 5cm x 4cm. Its called a multiocular cyst and is more common in post menopausal women, like me. Lol Im trying to stay positive but its really not easy. As its causing me so many constant physical problems.

I only found out just today that Im finally seeing a surgeon on the 5th Nov and then my surgery is scheduled for the the 12th Nov. So my family and I are all hoping, praying and waiting for a positive outcome in the end. The waiting and notknowing is the hardest. It’s as if someone has clicked on a pause button like a movie that is my actual life that I once had.

This has all made me realise why my mental health has gone down hill so badly lately. It would to anyone imho in my situation. However all of this has made me realise just how precious life is and that I really don’t want to die just yet. I’m 56 years old and hope to live long enough to at least see my adorable young grandchildren grow up.

Anyways I hope that everyone here is doing quite well and that life isn’t as hard for whomever reads this. I’m not writing this for sympathy but perhaps there may be others here whom are in the same position as me here? If so, I’d really appreciate hearing from you. Along with any advice that anyone here may have too.

“No matter what struggles life throws at us
We have the will to over come it
With compassion, happiness and love”
- My own quote here.

Take care everyone,

Love Bowie’s Lady:love