Thank you for the info, I did not seek help, too much shame attached to it. Waited too long for that, did not have the presence of mind to attend too much, and late. I am in contact with CWT, and a Move group for women and exercise. And MST women's group. Those are the big parts of moving forward for me now.
My PCP has been patient and tolerant and referred me to therapy
Last week.
It seems so often "going thru motions". Insane.
Thanks for suggestions, and better days ahead for us all.