Thank you all for responding! Phewww just your responses makes me feel human again. I have looked into meetup and once tried but when I got to the place I didnt see any one from the group, it kinda bumed me out because it took alot of courage to work myself up to going and then it was a bummer I couldn't find the group, granted it was at a big lake and there were a ton of people everywhere. I guess I should try again and get specific details. You're right I gotta get out and try. I caught a laugh raindrop when you said you cant even poop in peace hahaha, it probably feels annoying but it must be nice to be wanted even if it's on the toilet