Happy to help. You are open to joy so be kind to yourself and know you've already tackled one of the hardest parts. I feel you in that it is hard to force yourself. I think part of that is maybe we change and our tastes change when we are in different moods, but some of it also seems to stem from the effects the medications have on us. Give yourself a little latitude there. Just try some things out with an open mind and be open to joy so it can come in when the timing is right. The more you do, the more opportunity you create for yourself. It won't always work and there's nothing wrong with you when it doesn't. Maybe joy will feel at first like an activity not totally sucking and then maybe it will feel mostly ok and then in time maybe it turns into legit joy. It might take a while, so just keep the faith. You'll be in a dark hole if you drop hope that you can live a happy and full life again.

It is kind of like using coping skills. The goal isn't necessarily to love what you're doing. You're just trying to pull yourself out of whatever state you're in so you can disrupt the pattern and create something new for yourself. A bunch of seemingly insignificant experiences can then add up to make a pretty ok day. You focus on the tasks instead of how you're feeling and it helps shift your mood. I think the idea is it is hard to be anything other than your mood when you are hyperfocused on your mood. I am a big believer that our thoughts create our reality, so just do your best to take your mind to a variety of places so that you don't get stuck in bipolar land. I get that it is hard not to focus on something as huge and consuming as this can feel, but maybe make a game out if it and reward yourself somehow each time you try something new or push through an activity you didn't initially feel like doing. You just have to find a strategy that works for you and that can take time. Just be as proactive as you can and love yourself for trying.