Punishment and discipline are not the same thing.

Kids lose control of themselves because they are not able to figure out how to communicate what they need, or they have pushed themselves further than their own ability to cope, or they have learned to use their tantrum as a way to get what they want because they adults in their life haven’t taught them healthy boundaries or healthy ways to communicate what they need. Kids really don’t want to be in charge; it’s scary to them, and sometimes acting out is their effort to get the adults in their life to pay attention and help them cope. I’m wondering if your inner kid is running the show and it is needing that modeling of internal boundaries to help it calm and find safety. Is that perhaps where your T is going with this? Not sure, but your T should be able to further explain.